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Avoid Sounding Basic With This New App That Expands Your Vocabulary

Tired of sounding the same — or even stupid — when texting your bro?  Had enough of having to say “I’m sick” to get out of that date with the guy who’s been cyber-stalking you? Then we have an app for you.

It’s called Words U, a free app that exchanges the words in your text messages for smarter-sounding ones, which means your words are modified to more advanced equivalents, which means you don’t have to open up your thesaurus each time you text, which means you can say “I’m indisposed at the moment” instead of your usual “I’m sick,” and which also means you’ll have more time to search online for how to file a restraining order against that guy.