Filipino American dancer and choreographer Darrell Rivera is being praised on TikTok for speaking out against Asian women’s prejudice and “internalized racism” when it comes to dating men of their own race.
“Internalized racism”: In a TikTok video posted by the “Egg and Bean Podcast” (@eggandbeanpodcast) on June 27, Asian American host Sunny (@sunnysideuptv) comments on Asian men and women dating people outside of their own race.
“I think Asian boys get a lot more applause for dating outside of their culture, but Asian girls are not,” she says in the video. “There’s this whole narrative that, ‘Oh, Asian girls are always with white boys and they’re getting colonized because of their internalized racism.’ I think it’s super damaging.”
Rivera’s response: In his TikTok video responding to Sunny’s comments, Rivera explains why he thinks many Asian women choose not to date Asian men.
“The only reason why girls get the most hate is because of the internalized racism,” Rivera says. “A lot of Asian girls love coming on this platform and preaching that they love white men and that they’ll never date an Asian guy.”
Rivera then includes examples of videos wherein Asian women say they prefer to date white men.
“And the thing is, the majority of us guys don’t care,” Rivera continues. “We just hate that you guys bash on your own race. There’s a huge difference between having a preference and like literally hating on your own kind.”
NextShark op-ed: Rivera also references a TikTok post by Kaila Yu (@kaila.yu) wherein she speaks about a satirical response published by NextShark to Christine Ma-Kellams’ “K-dramas cured my prejudice against Asian men” op-ed for Salon in October 2021. The piece, “Hollywood cured my prejudice against white men” by Bianca Gray, points out the unnecessary narrative of Asian women not finding “Asian men desirable until confronted with their own internalized racism.”
“A common thing that many Asian women say, which is ‘I’m not attracted to Asian men because they look like my brother, uncle, etc.,’” Yu says. “The article points out, do you ever see white women or Latina women saying, ‘I can’t date white or Latino men because they look like my brother or father?’”
Yu explains that while all women can have their own preferences and date whoever they want, they should express this without insulting the men of their own race.
“At the end of the day, just do you, girl. Do whatever makes you happy. Just don’t make us feel any less than,” Rivera concludes.
Reactions: Rivera’s TikTok post has already garnered over 168,000 views, with many users agreeing and applauding him for calling out Asian women who have internalized racism.
“That’s what I’m saying. Date who u wanna date. Don’t drag us in the mud at the same time,” one user commented.
“I’m Mexican and I see this happen all the time. Tokyo Drift even made a joke about it. That’s how obvious it is lol,” another wrote.
“Not liking your own men is weird. They wouldn’t even be here without Asian men,” another said.