Kezia Noble: World’s #1 Female Pick-up Coach Talks Seduction and Business
When did you discover your talent for being a pick-up artist?
“I’ve always been very, very direct with people, and very honest, and it’s got me into a lot of trouble in the past but now I’m actually being rewarded for it. I think that having that trait in my personality, of being so honest and so direct, is partly why I’ve helped so many men achieve success with women because they often get very generic, nice, but essentially ineffective advice from women. So the first time they get that real clarity, that clear insight into a female mind, I believe is the core reason for what really changes their results around.”
Do you teach women how to pick up men?
“No, I don’t teach women, I try to avoid it. First of all I don’t actually know how to attract men. I know how men should attract women, but it’s quite interesting that you should ask this question because lately I’ve had a lot of women, especially coming up to Valentine’s Day, emailing me asking me for advice because I think that they have clocked on that I spend so much time with guys and I have a real idea of their psychology and what they are worried about and what they want. So they think, “Well actually we should go to Kezia about this.” It’s something I might want to look into in the future.”
What is the biggest thing that guys get wrong about women?
“I believe that guys are really frightened of women. They are frightened because they don’t understand what they want. Women always have a type, it’s normal, and men have a type also, but what I teach guys is that game will outmatch type every time. So a lot of guys will look at a women and say she’s clearly into older guys, she’s clearly into black guys, she’s clearly into white guys, and they just believe its game over straight away. But what I teach my students is that game will outmatch type any day of the week, so I think women also have this issue where they just think that guy goes for this kind of girl, ill never get him. and guys think the same thing and it’s kind of like stalemate, and I think if they understand and appreciate that game is more powerful than type, they could achieve a lot more.”
What is the most memorable pick-up line you’ve ever heard?
“The most memorable line I ever heard would be, “If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put ‘I’ next to ‘U.” Now this is a terrible pick up line, I think we can all agree on that, however, it was his response to my reaction that sealed the deal. He saw that I was like, in shock, and I was about to walk away and he laughed and he said, “I had to see if you had a good sense of humor or not. Isn’t that the worst line you’ve ever heard? My name is…” So what I essentially teach my students is you can go in there with any opener but it’s how you deal with the reaction and the response, how you deal with that. That’s make or break because apart from that one time, I can’t remember what all the guys said to me. I can’t remember their opening lines, it’s immaterial. It’s what comes after that’s everything.”
So you are in the business of bringing people together, but what about your personal life? When is the last time you had your heart broken?
“I just came out of a relationship and I’m still healing so I have experienced heart break. I would say this is the first time I’ve experienced it at the ripe old age of 29, so I’m lucky I’ve only had it once. I think it’s very important to have been loved and to have been in love than to not have ever experienced it at all.”
What do you think is the key to getting over heartbreak?
“I think the key is to be proactive. A lot of people, they can just go into a cocoon, go into their shell, they can put on a lot of weight, if you’ve noticed. People who have break-ups lose a lot of weight or they put on a lot of weight just because they are comfort eating. Maybe they start drinking more, smoking more cigarettes, it’s very, very easy to go down that route, so it’s very important that you keep socializing, keep meeting people, meeting new people. and at first it’s horrible because really all you want to do is just hibernate. You just want to get away from the world and you just want to just cry, but you’ve got to keep going out there, pushing it, pushing yourself to talk to people, and then depending on how bad the break-up was, between three to six months, you’ll have your social group back in place and you’ll be feeling more positive and used to going out and being that sociable person you once were.”
How hard is it to take that advice?
“I’m doing it now. I’m doing it now and it’s not easy. It’s a bitter pill to swallow, but it’s something you have to do.”
How important is the art of seduction in business?
“The art of seduction is a lot of things. It’s a lot of skills that we teach that actually can be applied in business such as marketing. I teach my students how to brand themselves, how to market themselves; I’m not actually changing them, their inner game comes as a result of their results. You evolve to become this new person, you don’t force yourself to become this new person,so it’s about marketing. I say to guys, “Look, you have a three minute commercial, what are you going to do? How are you going to market yourself?” I think that’s a lot to do with business, how you’re marketing yourself, what does your brand say to people, so yeah, there’s definitely that element which can be applied within business.”
Do you have any advice for entrepreneurs trying to balance business and their dating life?
“I have a rule which I stick by and that is always replace short term greed with long term greed. There are a lot of other pick-up coaches out there who are lone operators, so that means that they essentially do one-on-one consultations and sessions and they get a fair amount of money, but it takes up a fair amount of their time; that time is really, really valuable because if you don’t have it you are going to stunt the growth of your business. You want to expand and have more time to invest in other projects and maybe start up new ventures. You’re going to have to give some of that work to trusted people, you have to build up your team and at first, yes, it does affect the profits but in the long run, because you’ve had the time to expand your company, to expand your brand, you’ll make that tenfold and that’s what I’ve learned and what I teach other entrepreneurs.”
Where do you plan to take your business in the near future?
“With my business, although I am quite well known in the English speaking countries, America, Canada, Australia, and the UK, obviously where I’m from, I would like to expand it more to Japan, China, India, and Brazil. I think that there is a big demand out there and obviously these are part of the BRIC countries, or some of them are, so I definitely think that there is a lot of wealth there and there is a lot of interest for pick-up. It’s a new phenomenon there whereas in America and the UK, it’s not really a sub-culture anymore; it’s gotten a lot more to the surface so I want to expand my company there. Eventually I’d like to have a TV show and really, really bring it to the mainstream so there are a few things I’m working on and obviously I’m working on my products still; I have a large portfolio of products and I’d like to do some more for that about confidence, and from there, I see myself helping people start up their businesses. I think I’m very passionate about that, so that’s what I plan to do.”
Do cultural differences change the pick-up game in different countries and how?
“Yes, you have fundamental rules in place that do not change such as demonstrating high value, taking control of any approach anxiety, and closing, always be closing; these kind of rules always stay in place. However, you mentioned Japan and I’ve been there, and on the surface it’s a completely different country, completely, totally different country, and there would have to be certain areas of game that need to be toned down and actually certain areas that need to be highlighted that you couldn’t maybe do in Europe. What I’ve noticed is a big shift in between America and Europe.
The big difference actually is between America and Europe, so especially the West Coast, people in America tend to be a lot more socially confident. They can just go up and start a conversation with somebody, it’s almost in their makeup whereas Europeans are much more guarded and they have their little social groups and you can’t penetrate those social groups unless you’ve been invited by somebody from that group. So I find that a lot of emphasis when I’m doing my European boot camps, including the UK, is spent on the approach. Once they have accepted you into the group, sexual escalation, flirting, and keeping the conversation going is a lot easier. However, it’s almost like a false sense of comfort in the US; people are very sociable so they think they are doing well with someone but there is a cut off point. It’s like, “Okay, I’ve been sociable with you, now I’m going to be sociable with someone else,” So actually keeping their attention and taking it to the next level can be a little more difficult in America.”
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