Breaking news: Chinese wives are on an epic rampage, Chinese men’s penises to never recover.
In yet another case of a Chinese man being castrated in the name of love (or psychosis) for a woman, a husband was forced to kneel outside of his wife’s apartment for hours after not forking over his paycheck to her in a timely manner, according to Xinhua News by way of Shanghaiist.
The man, who is surnamed Wang, knelt on a computer board and held a whiteboard that read: “Please help. I can’t find my balls.” Or rather, that’s what it should have read.
Instead, it sadly read:
“Sorry sweetheart, I was so wrong. From now on, I will hand in all my wages.”
Apparently, Wang’s humiliation isn’t something that’s new, or undeserved. After they were married, Wang’s wife requested he turn over his salary at the end of every month so that she could handle their finances. He promptly obeyed up until December, a month in which he had overspent on his “daily expenses” (perhaps the razors he uses to cut himself?), leading to his wife banishing him from their home after two months. This, shockingly, was seen by Wang as punishment rather than liberation.
A delusional Wang told the reporters who gathered around to witness his ego’s execution:
“I met my wife in 2011. We started dating in Hangzhou, then got married here as well.
“Although we may have some quarrels from time to time, our relationship is still not bad.”
He told another reporter still that he’d apologize “a thousand times to show my loyalty,” and that “If she doesn’t let me come home, I’ll keep kneeling here, yelling: ‘I’m sorry, honey.’”