One year, a long, long time ago
when I was but a tender, young beast, my mom decided to save a little extra money and time by having me go out trick-or-treating without a costume.
“What am I supposed to be without a costume?” I asked her incredulously.
“Just go as yourself,” she replied matter-of-factly, as though it was only logic, and not a costume, that I needed.
Needless to say, I’ve been masquerading as myself and scaring the shit out of people ever since, all while saving a boatload of money. Halloween costumes seem to be getting more and more unnecessarily expensive every year anyhow.
But now, for Halloween ‘14, we may have really hit a price point ceiling: the Million Dollar Morphsuit from MorphCostumes, locked away in a London vault according to CNNMoney
. The name of the costume is a bit misleading for us Americans, however, since its 1 million pound price tag equates to around $1.6 million.
The costume ensures that its rich, grossly ostentatious wearer is covered in diamonds from head to toe, as it’s basically a skin-tight spandex suit, also covering the head and feet, encrusted in various carats of diamonds.
While the diamonds are certainly lavish, their sum total in weight won’t exactly make its wearer feel elegant. The co-founder of MorphCostumes, Gregor Lawson, described the costume as a “bit heavy,” saying, “It’s probably not the most comfortable of our offerings, but if you roll the head part down, you can still be covered 90 percent in diamonds.” Of course, doing that would mean that the 10 percent of the wearer not covered in diamonds would just stay “incredibly douchey-looking.”
Hmm, that cardboard box decorated with permanent marker and “Transformers” stickers I wore that one year suddenly feels so pedestrian for some reason.
The Million Dollar Morphsuit is part of MorphCostumes’ WTF line of suits, which includes a $25,000 robot costume
with stilts, LED lights, laser effects and a fan.