White Chef’s ‘Pho With Quinoa’ Recipe is Disgusting and Absolute Blasphemy

I literally cannot believe what I’m seeing right now. I literally can’t even. Am I reading The Onion? Am I being punk’d? Where’s Ashton Kutcher hiding at? 

Martha Rose Shulman is a cookbook author and a food columnist at the New York Times. She’s mostly known for her vegetarian recipes. One of our readers recently stumbled upon this pho recipe by Shulman, which was published four years ago. Here’s the recipe:

  • 1 recipe vegetarian pho broth
  • 6 ounces firm tofu, cut in dominoes
  • Soy sauce to taste (optional)
  • 3 cups cooked quinoa
  • 3 broccoli crowns, broken into florets and cut in slices 1/4 inch thick
  • A 3-inch piece of white radish, peeled and cut in 1 1/2-inch julienne
  • 1/2 cup Asian or purple basil leaves, slivered if large, left whole if small
  • 4 scallions, chopped
  • 1 cup chopped cilantro
  • 2 to 4 bird or serrano chilies, sliced thin or finely chopped (to taste)
  • 6 mint sprigs
  • 3 to 4 limes, cut in wedges

jackie-chan-wtf

My auntie is Vietnamese and owns a pho restaurant, and this is NO WHERE near how you make pho. You don’t just put a bunch of vegetables, herbs, and soy sauce and call it pho. You CERTAINLY do not put QUINOA in it and call it pho.

God damn hipsters.

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