A Reddit user says her Asian mother-in-law and husband were “appalled” that she had served them mac and cheese for dinner, after she had given birth four weeks prior.
In a viral post titled “AITA for serving my husband’s family Mac N Cheese for dinner?” Reddit user u/Dinner101____ recounts the recent clash she had with her husband’s family over her choice of dinner.
According to her story, posted to the subreddit r/AmItheAssh*ole on April 26, the user’s husband is “Asian,” while she is “American.” She explains that while being postpartum she was worn out to the point of being unable to shower, sleep or fix her hair.
Her husband’s family had been pressuring her about meeting the baby for a month and suddenly showed up to her home without notice one day. The new mother says she felt embarrassed because the house was not clean, describing her husband’s family as “judgemental [sic].”
When the user asked her husband if they should order takeout, he rejected the suggestion, stating that his parents would find it “rude and unwelcoming.” He then asked that she prepare a “homemade” meal, and she decided to make mac and cheese “because of how easy it is.”
“Once I served the family, my husband’s mom looked at me and was appalled. I noticed something was wrong. She asked if I really found it ‘appropriate’ to serve her and the family Mac N cheese,” the post reads. “I asked why not and she went on a rant about how disrespectful this was and that I clearly have no experience in what is right and wrong when it comes to hosting.”
“My husband said that deciding to serve his family Mac N cheese was more offensive then serving them nothing at all. I told him I was too exhausted to cook their ‘traditional feasts’ that I was forced to learn from his mom,” the user says. “He took offense and said that I was being mean and disrespectful towards not only his family but his culture.
“I went inside the bedroom to stay with my son. My husband stayed on the phone with his family for an hour then kept giving me the cold shoulder and refused to eat what I cook in support of his family.”
In response, many Reddit commenters reassured the user that what her husband’s family had done was not representative of Asian culture and that they “are just AHs [assh*les].”
Many added that in Asian cultures, women going through postpartum are supposed to be taken close care of by relatives and in-laws.
Reddit users also criticized the user’s husband for being unsupportive and ignorant to the fact that his wife had just given birth, with many suggesting that he may be “abusive.”
“The issue here is your husband. He has no right to talk to you the way he did ever. Least of all after you have just given birth to his child. You have a very long and hard road ahead of you. I strongly advise you to keep some money separate for when you need to leave. It’s very common for abusive men to really show themselves after they think they have their victim trapped,” one user commented.
The original post has over 30,000 upvotes and 5,000 comments at the time of this writing.