The internet doesn’t seem to be able to handle Nintendo’s commitment to detail; first it was Mario’s nipples in a speed run mode in “Super Mario Odyssey,” and now it’s Luigi’s bulge in “Mario Tennis Aces”.
satoru iwata died so we could an HD photo of Luigi’s bulge pic.twitter.com/HoiRApRPsi
— sarah (@fastjelIyfish) March 12, 2018
After zooming in the picture — because haha why not — eagle-eyed fans immediately noticed that Luigi is…packing.
great, now I’ve just googled Luigi’s penis…
— CaptainHooch (@CaptHooch) March 16, 2018
This, of course, led to insane reactions from users on Twitter:
My annual review is in 10 minutes and I can’t stop laughing over a tweet about Luigi’s penis. What am I????
— Johnny (@Spizzle_Trunk) March 15, 2018
I leave the country for a couple of days and I come back to the Year of Luigi’s Penis.
— – (@drewmmichaels) March 16, 2018
Stop tweeting about Luigi’s penis I’m getting whiplash
— #2 Medicine Stan (@caitlinsarh) March 14, 2018
Waking up to crippling back pain and Luigi’s penis discourse (dickscourse?)
— Manic Husky Dream Boy (@Joe_Hunter) March 15, 2018
what’s better, getting to see mario’s nipples straight up or the mere implication of luigi’s penis
— Meta (@metaking64x) March 16, 2018
While everyone lost their minds over Green Mario‘s girth, one user casually reminded everyone that Luigi once bragged about being gifted down there when compared to his older brother Mario.
A reminder that there’s a Mario comic strip that has Luigi bragging that his penis is bigger than Mario’s
— Shikki (@SonicDahMario) March 11, 2018
And surprisingly, it’s true — but hey, it’s the internet, so Rule #34 or #36 I guess.
Shogakukan’s “Nintendo Official Guidebook: Super Mario World” guide has a comic where Luigi brags about having a bigger penis than Mario pic.twitter.com/UUbmNrwSkg
— Super Mario Wiki (@SMWikiOfficial) October 5, 2017
Now that the existence of Luigi’s sausage is finally out of the bag, so to speak, netizens decided it was necessary to determine how big is it exactly.
The difference between Tumblr and Twitter is that Twitter users are all upset about Luigi’s dick bulge because they’re so fucking basic and Tumblr users are doing Algebra to figure out that it’s roughly 3.7″ flacid and they’re so happy for him to have a dick. pic.twitter.com/BlQynFRaZd
— Christopher Butcher (@Comics212) March 15, 2018
They did not disappoint.
Yes on tumblr I found a full on debate about the length of Luigi’s dick. You’re all welcome pic.twitter.com/BM7z9frCod
— ʏᴏ ʜᴏᴇ ʜᴏᴇ #teamTrixie (@damnmanitscam) March 15, 2018
“Some rough work reveals that Luigi may be close to four inches flaccid, although this is a) simply one interpretation of which way his dick is resting, b) therefore is merely an educated guess as to length, c) does not account for any level of partial erection, & d) reveals little to nothing about his erect measurement,” a user on Tumblr wrote.
— CollegeHumor (@CollegeHumor) March 16, 2018
While some complained about Luigi’s length, one user basically mic-dropped this bit of information:
And as we all know, the Mario brothers are growers, not showers 😉
— Intershrektional feminism (@jephjacques) March 16, 2018
Featured image via YouTube / GameXplain