Chinese Tycoon Buys Out NextShark — All Employees Become Rich Kids of Instagram (April Fools!)


greger

NextShark, our online magazine that writes about crazy Chinese stories and spoiled Asian girls, has been bought out by a wealthy media tycoon in China for an undisclosed amount of money.

#acquired check out Nextshark.com for the full story!

A video posted by Nextshark (@nextshark) on

We are proud and excited to announce that we have become just like the “Rich Kids of Instagram” whose lives we’ve long been exploiting for profit.

File Apr 01, 1 11 52 PM

While all the money is self-made, we are now ballin’ out of control and have completely forgotten the value of a dollar.

File Apr 01, 1 13 31 PM

Things like “financial responsibility,” “modesty” and “class” have no meaning to us anymore — just like real rich kids!

C6A34AA6-3DCD-4741-BF29-032D36985596

After withdrawing a ton of cash from our bank, we immediately went to the nearest jeweler to buy a bunch of expensive watches at random.

File Apr 01, 1 13 01 PM

In an attempt to stay grounded, we decided to pause and live out our childhood dream of playing Monopoly with real cash.

File Apr 01, 1 12 23 PM

We then irresponsibly decided that the fastest way to spend our newfound wealth was to get a black American Express Centurion Card — and they actually gave us one!

C087DFD5-3BAD-4329-A051-F1C76079BBB3

We went straight to the nearest import car dealer in Newport Beach and bought a Ferrari 458 Spyder — used, obviously. (Our company wasn’t worth that much it turns out.)

2016-04-01

We even gave our overworked video intern a well-deserved bonus bag.

1077F732-E15E-41AD-AFE2-225146221EA2

And one more thing — APRIL FOOLS! (We are still struggling startup employees but thanks for clicking on our article).

File Apr 01, 1 12 06 PM

0 Comments

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Choose A Format
Personality quiz
Series of questions that intends to reveal something about the personality
Trivia quiz
Series of questions with right and wrong answers that intends to check knowledge
Poll
Voting to make decisions or determine opinions
Story
Formatted Text with Embeds and Visuals
List
The Classic Internet Listicles
Countdown
The Classic Internet Countdowns
Open List
Submit your own item and vote up for the best submission
Ranked List
Upvote or downvote to decide the best list item
Meme
Upload your own images to make custom memes
Video
Youtube, Vimeo or Vine Embeds
Audio
Soundcloud or Mixcloud Embeds
Image
Photo or GIF
Gif
GIF format