Chinese Tycoon Buys Out NextShark — All Employees Become Rich Kids of Instagram (April Fools!)


NextShark, our online magazine that writes about crazy Chinese stories and spoiled Asian girls, has been bought out by a wealthy media tycoon in China for an undisclosed amount of money.

#acquired check out for the full story!

A video posted by Nextshark (@nextshark) on

We are proud and excited to announce that we have become just like the “Rich Kids of Instagram” whose lives we’ve long been exploiting for profit.

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While all the money is self-made, we are now ballin’ out of control and have completely forgotten the value of a dollar.

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Things like “financial responsibility,” “modesty” and “class” have no meaning to us anymore — just like real rich kids!


After withdrawing a ton of cash from our bank, we immediately went to the nearest jeweler to buy a bunch of expensive watches at random.

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In an attempt to stay grounded, we decided to pause and live out our childhood dream of playing Monopoly with real cash.

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We then irresponsibly decided that the fastest way to spend our newfound wealth was to get a black American Express Centurion Card — and they actually gave us one!


We went straight to the nearest import car dealer in Newport Beach and bought a Ferrari 458 Spyder — used, obviously. (Our company wasn’t worth that much it turns out.)


We even gave our overworked video intern a well-deserved bonus bag.


And one more thing — APRIL FOOLS! (We are still struggling startup employees but thanks for clicking on our article).

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