Nerd Advice: How to Get Good at Dating with Science

Nerd Advice: How to Get Good at Dating with Science
Albert Chang
July 14, 2014
When it comes to dating, you probably have that one douchey friend who always gives you the same advice: “It’s just a numbers game bro.” But your friend doesn’t understand things from your point of view. You’re different from him. You can’t just go out there and hit on every girl willy nilly. You have standards… It’s too dark in the club to see her face.  It’s too creepy to ask out a complete stranger. Or maybe, just maybe, you’re kind of being a bitch right now. Having standards and hitting on more girls to increase your chances are not mutually exclusive. With 7 billion people in the world, I’m sure that there are more girls out there that meet your standards than you have time to talk to. So it’s quite possible that maybe your douchey friend is right and…

It actually is a numbers game.

If you ever worked in sales, you’d know that if you make more cold calls, you’d book more appointments. And if you book more appointments, you’d close more deals. Dating is kind of the exact same thing. Except instead of making cold calls, you’re getting numbers, and instead of going on appointments, you’re going on dates, and instead of closing deals, you’re closing deals.  So by that logic, why wouldn’t you put yourself out there and ask more girls out? Well, probably because it’s a lot easier said than done. Guys don’t like to admit it, but it’s pretty nerve-wracking to put yourself in a position to get rejected by a girl you just met. But, it becomes a whole lot easier if you just…

Get over the fear of rejection.

It’s not you. It’s her. If she rejects you, then fuck her. Well, not literally because she just told you she wasn’t into it, but you get my drift. Forget about it and it’s onto the next one. She could have a million possible reasons for not wanting to go out with you. Maybe you’re ugly, or… maybe she had a stomachache. You don’t know, so why dwell on it? It is not a reflection on you. Never feel bad about yourself for getting rejected, but definitely feel bad about yourself for not having the balls to ask. Also, getting rejected really isn’t even that bad; you’re kind of just finding out an answer to a question. Anyways, like most things in life, it is practice that makes perfect, so get out there and start asking. But while you’re doing that make sure that you…

Always play the game.

Let me clarify. You already are always playing the game so be aware of it. And by “game,” I am referring to the unspoken struggle between two people to “wear the pants,” or in other words to be the one to (pretend to or really) care less. Because ultimately, whoever cares less will get their way. The thing is, when you’re winning, it’s natural to continue winning. Meanwhile, it’s the same for when you’re losing, so it’s ideal to get the upper hand as early as possible. The earliest possible time to start is probably right when you get her number and the two of you are texting back and forth. This is an exciting time; you’re unsure of each other and any message could be the last, every typed word is well thought out and calculated, every hour of not receiving a response is another hour spent wondering if you should’ve done something differently. Everybody knows that you shouldn’t text back right away, but you can’t wait too long either. So what’s the ideal time to wait? Luckily, sites like can calculate your ideal wait time for you based off of a couple simple inputs.’s algorithm is built off pretty solid principles everybody should know and it’ll point you in the right direction. Also, it’s pretty funny. Meanwhile, after you get past the initial text phase and go on your first date, make sure you…

Always go on the same first date.

You’re probably doing some good stuff and some not so good stuff, but how do you figure out exactly what is working and what isn’t? Just like how engineers A/B test program performance, you should A/B test your first dates. The end result will be to have your own custom, super optimal first date. In order to achieve this, just go on the exact same first date every time with the exception of one or two things. Make a mental note of the result and adjust accordingly on the next one. Sooner or later you’ll have your own ideal first date. You’ll know exactly where to go, what to do, what to order, what to say, how to say it and so on. Also, since you’ve done it so many times, you won’t get nervous and things won’t get awkward.  Additionally, since you know exactly what you’re going to do, you’ll come off as decisive and you guys won’t be stuck asking each other what you want to do.
So there you have it. Just a couple of easy tips that can dramatically improve your dating life. Go ahead, try them out. What do you have to lose?
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