While Japanese men nowadays are beginning to help more with the housework compared to previous generations, the wives still do the bulk of household chores. And for most Japanese marriages, the kitchen is still the woman’s territory, with wives expected to do the majority of the cooking and general meal preparation.
However, having expectations that taking care of preparing dinner is solely the wife’s role is something Japanese Twitter user @noske_nico thinks needs to change.
In frustration, the wife posted a photo of a handwritten note on Twitter that reads: “Here’s something you should never say to your wife,” at the very top.
— のすけ (@noske_nico) January 7, 2017
“I showed this to my husband,” tweeted @noske_nico in Japanese and translated by RocketNews24. “But I’d like all the men of the world to keep this in mind.”
The note reads:
Here’s something you should never say to your wife.
“’What about my dinner?’
When your wife is sick, tired, or busy, and she says ‘I can’t make dinner tonight,’ the male mind has a tendency to ask that question as it grasps the situation. However, when a woman hears that question, it registers as ‘I don’t really understand what’s going on with you, but make my dinner.’
So when your wife says that, let’s take a deep breath, and say ‘I’ll go pick up something to eat (or eat out), and do you want me to bring something back for you?’
It’s important to show concern about what your wife is going to eat. When she’s feeling poorly, this single phrase can have a big effect. So watch what you say!”
The post was a hit among netizens who felt the same way and expressed how @noske_nico’s advice echoed a common sentiment among women.
“My ex-husband was the kind of person who always said [inconsiderate] things like that,” said one of the comments.
“I think my mom went through that sort of thing with my dad, and it really seems like there are a lot of [thoughtless] guys like that,” wrote another.
Others point out, however, that a more direct communication approach would be more effective.
“Look, I’m not a mind reader, so how about if we both just say what we’re thinking?” according to a netizen.
“If my husband said [he was going to eat out], I’d at least ask him myself to pick something up for me too,” said another.
One father, as described by his child, is someone most wives would definitely appreciate and more dads should emulate:
“If my mom isn’t feeling well when my dad comes home from work, even if he’s feeling tired, he says ‘Are you OK? If you’ve got any appetite, I’ll go pick something up for you’ or ‘How about if I cook something?’ And afterward, he even takes care of the dishes. My dad is really amazing like that.”
The note from @noske_nico, which was posted on Saturday, has so far accumulated over 35,000 likes and has been retweeted over 43,000 times.
Image via Flickr / Chris Gladis