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‘I am not the beauty standard’: Tearful Kiwi woman pleads for white men to stop making racist comments

  • A woman from New Zealand posted a video to TikTok on Sunday in which she tearfully pleads for “white men” to stop directing racist comments towards her as a “brown girl.”

  • The woman explains that when she goes out, white men often refer to her as “undesirable” for being a “brown girl.”

  • She then asks that white men be more respectful and open minded, and to call out their friends when they make racist and disrespectful comments.

  • The woman describes her experiences as dehumanizing, outlining the difficulty in getting white men to see that she is “more than just the color of my skin.”

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A TikTok user from New Zealand tearfully asks that “white men” be more open-minded and respectful as she has faced several instances of racial comments as a “brown girl.”

Nilani, whose TikTok handle is @niiilaniii, uploaded a video on Sunday to the video platform where she tearfully explains the racism she experienced the past few times she has gone out. 

“There’s always been a comment directed at me for no reason, like I haven’t done anything,” Nilani says. “For some reason that warrants white men to say things like, ‘My friends only date white girls’ or they’ll say things like ‘Oh you’re not one to go for brown girls.’ They’ll say that to their friend.”

@niiilaniii Sorry for ugly crying on you like this #racism #newzealand #whitemen ♬ original sound – Nilani

Nilani repeatedly points out that she is “just standing there” and pleads for white men to be more respectful and open-minded towards her. 

“I know that I’m beautiful, but in this country, New Zealand, I am not the beauty standard and that’s OK,” Nilani said. “What I’m asking you to do is to please not go out of your way to tell me that I’m undesirable when I haven’t done anything.”

“I have a hard enough time being in this country as a person of color, and believe me, I’m trying my very best to put on a brave face and represent for the brown girls. I’m fighting for us to have a seat at the table, for people to give us a chance.”

Nilani adds that racially insensitive comments strip her of her humanity and states that she will often be looked at as nothing more than her physical appearance.

“You reduce me to the color of my skin and that’s all you expect from me. And when you say things to me like ‘I only date white girls,’ what you’re saying is every other person of every other race has features that are the same that ‘I don’t find attractive’ and you don’t give them their humanity,” she says.

Nilani provides some advice, explaining that when someone makes a racially insensitive comment, their friends should point it out and let the person know that it is disrespectful.

“I promise I won’t try to pursue you, but I will buy you a f*cking drink if you stick up for racism when you’re around me because it’s never been done before, unfortunately,” Nilani says.

Many users expressed their support for Nilani while some shared their own experiences as a person of color in New Zealand.

“I always tell everyone how much racism we feel as POC in NZ! You realize when you leave NZ, just how beautiful we are to other nationalities,” one user wrote.

The way you express this in such a kind, soft, and empathic way is a true representation of your kind heart. You’re too good for this place my gal,” wrote another.

The video has garnered over 30,000 likes and 306,000 views since being uploaded.


Featured Image: TikTok


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