Got the holiday blues? Here’s how you can deal with them.
By Carl Samson
The holiday season is often described as a time of joy, connection and celebration. But for many, it can also be a period marked by heightened stress, feelings of loneliness and even a sense of doom. Such negative emotions are what we have come to know as the “holiday blues.”
According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), the holiday blues are “temporary feelings of anxiety or depression during the holidays that can be associated with extra stress, unrealistic expectations or even memories that accompany the season.” While these feelings are common, it’s important to distinguish them from more severe conditions like clinical depression or seasonal affective disorder (SAD). For Asians and Asian Americans navigating the unique cultural dynamics of this time, these emotions may resonate even more deeply, influenced by familial expectations, cultural dissonance and societal pressures.
Joyous but stressed
A 2023 poll by the American Psychological Association (APA) reveals that while 80% of U.S. adults describe the holidays with positive words like “fun” and “joyous,” 63% also use terms like “stressful” and “overwhelming.” Nearly nine in 10 (89%) cite concerns like financial strain, family conflicts and the pain of missing loved ones as primary stressors.
“The holiday season can be both a happy and stressful time of year in part due to expectations to spend time with family and friends, navigate family conflicts and uphold important traditions,” says APA CEO Arthur C. Evans Jr., PhD. This resonates with many Asians and Asian Americans who often find themselves facing pressures amplified by cultural expectations.
War within oneself
For “Rowena,” 28, the holiday blues have felt like a “war of attrition” within herself. “I resisted for years that they were actually happening — that the 25th of December was really just another day,” she tells the Rebel Yellow. However, a turning point came in 2023. “I realized that clinging onto the memory of joy prevented me from actually experiencing joyful moments. So I’m trying a non-combative, let-it-be approach this year,” she shares.
Israa Nasir, a psychotherapist and director of clinical strategy at Anise Health — a digital mental health care platform focused on Asian Americans — offers a thoughtful perspective on Rowena’s strategy. “Letting it be is not a passive state of mind,” Nasir tells the Rebel Yellow. “It means that you’re not reactive, but you do need to make space for acceptance, processing the feelings and then releasing them.”
Finding connection and meaning
Loneliness is a common trigger for the holiday blues, especially for those who feel culturally or socially disconnected from mainstream celebrations. Nasir emphasizes the importance of crafting personal traditions to foster connection and joy. “Start a tradition with yourself that you enjoy doing every year. This can be going to a specific winter market, taking yourself on an ice-skating date, or creating crafts that you can give to other people,” she suggests. “Maintaining such traditions helps you stay connected to yourself, have something to look forward to and also is a form of emotional release. At this time, it’s also important to remember that quality matters over quantity. You don’t need to have dinner with 20 people to have a meaningful holiday tradition — you can do it with two friends who matter a lot to you.”
For those seeking a deeper sense of community, volunteering can be transformative. “It has been shown by research to release endorphins and happiness hormones,” Nasir explains. “It also helps us feel connected to a larger cause that can combat loneliness, especially around the holidays, and it’s a good way to connect with the community.”
Balance is key
Despite the challenges, the APA poll shows that nearly seven in 10 adults agree the stress of the holidays is worth it. For Asians and Asian Americans, navigating the holiday blues may involve balancing cultural expectations with personal needs through self-care. At the physiological level, Nasir advises sticking to routines, eating balanced meals and limiting alcohol consumption. “You don’t have to restrict your eating,” she notes, “but you have to make sure that you are eating fresh greens, fresh fruits, grains and protein, along with the more fun holiday things.”
“Beyond that, it’s important to practice emotional self-care as well,” Nasir adds. “Make sure that you are taking time to process any difficult emotions that are coming up (set a therapy appointment if you need to), set healthy boundaries with family and friends as needed, be present with the people you love and have some alone time.”
As the holidays approach, it’s crucial to acknowledge the complex emotions they can evoke. For those struggling with the blues, the season offers an opportunity not just to endure but to reimagine joy on one’s own terms.
Whether it’s through self-reflection, creating new traditions or connecting with others, the key lies in embracing both the joys and challenges of the season. Like Rowena’s approach, letting go of the past and focusing on the present can help us find new ways to celebrate — and perhaps, rediscover the magic of the holidays.
This story is part of The Rebel Yellow Newsletter — a bold weekly newsletter from the creators of NextShark, reclaiming our stories and celebrating Asian American voices.
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