Augustine Reyes Chan
Augustine Reyes Chan3968d ago

Denver Broncos Issue ‘Farting Tax’ After Unbearable Team Meetings

Professional athletes are used to getting penalized -- when they arrive to practice late or when they go ballistic on the field or on their coaches. It’s a way for teammates to break their habits. But what if we said a star linebacker is now being penalized each time he farts?

Professional athletes are used to getting penalized 
That’s what’s happening to the Denver Bronco’s defensive star Von Miller. Apparently, he farts too much during team meetings and is now subject to a “fart tax,” which means that every time he farts, his pay is docked.
Denver Post’s Nicki Jhabvala broke wind, err, the news when she tweeted:
“Von Miller said the Broncos have a fine system for, um, flatulence in meetings. Said he thinks he’s been fined the most.”
In another tweet, Jhabvala said:
“Since I’ve received numerous inquires about the Broncos’ Fart Tax, I’m gonna let Von explain. NFL dieting ain’t easy.”
And here’s what Miller had to say about cutting the cheese:
“They can’t fine me if I get up and walk away. It’s not healthy. I keep trying to tell them it’s not healthy if I just sit there and hold it in. Nobody in the world does that. I just do it more than the average person.”
Umm, did Miller never get that social code? You know, the one that says you should refrain from farting because you’re not 5? That you should hold it in until you’re in a place where it might be okay to fart, like the bathroom?
So how serious is the Broncos’ flatulence tax? Most likely, it’s just a complaint amongst the team and coaching staff.
Source: FoxSports Image via DenverPost

Discussion

Ari C.
Ari C.2h ago

If this happened on campus, Stanford should issue a clear public update and specific safety actions.

212 Face
Mina Z.
Mina Z.1h ago

Agree. People need facts and process, not silence. The school should confirm what is being investigated.

88 Face
Ken L.
Ken L.48m ago

Also important to separate verified details from rumors so this does not spiral online.

61 Face
Linh P.
Linh P.1h ago

The death threat part is extremely serious. Hoping law enforcement and campus security are already involved.

144 Face
Jae T.
Jae T.35m ago

This is where official reporting and support channels need to be visible and easy to access.

42 Face
Sophie W.
Sophie W.56m ago

Can NextShark keep a timeline thread here as updates come in? That would help keep context in one place.

97 Face
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