BJ’s Restaurant and Brewhouse, a family-friendly restaurant, may now be trying to destroy a family near you with their latest promotion: for $10,000 worth of food, name your child — the offspring that is supposed to be your greatest legacy — “Quinoa.”
That’s right, they want you to name your child Quinoa (pronounced “keen-wa” and not “kwin-oh-ah”), the much-hyped high-protein low-gluten seed/grain favored by Peruvians, sensitive yoga bros and health trend band-wagoners alike.
In a recent press release, BJ’s Executive Vice President and CMO Kevin Mayer explained that the promotion comes with the announcement of two new menu items that contain the ingredient they want you to name your child after:
“We are so excited to introduce these amazing new Quinoa Bowls that we wanted to do something big, maybe even a little crazy.”
According to the press release, bad parents must “prove your baby is named Quinoa” via a birth certificate. However, there can only be be one winner, so it may be safe to bet that there will be a few parents with a baby named Quinoa with nothing to show for it (except for their children’s future therapy bills). The promotion ends on Labor Day.
Hmm, $10,000 worth of average-ish food from BJ’s Restaurant and Brewhouse and all you have to do is subject your child to a lifetime of bullying and ridicule for having a stupid name? May the baby-naming gods have mercy on all babies about to be born.