This is Seb Cierces from Romania. He’s 29 years old, describes himself as “athletic, toned and dark haired,” and after weeks of trying to sell his virginity in a local newspaper, he is sadly still a virgin. What went wrong?
Exhibit 1: Cierces put an ad in the local newspaper in the town of Brasov, Romania.
“Man, 29, Brasov, Athletic and toned, dark haired. I’m selling my virginity. Price: 850 Euros. Transport not included.”
Well, there’s the first problem. How can you expect someone to take your virginity if you won’t even give them a ride? Clearly, Seb needs to improve his sex etiquette.
Weeks went by with no response. Seb, who is also unemployed, first put out the ad to raise money to pay his debts and help his sick brother who suffers from diabetes. Including that in the ad might have landed him some donations at least. Baffled, Seb wondered why no one wanted to “try out” his body for $1,000:
“I don’t understand it. I’m a good looking guy with a good physique. I thought someone might even offer me more … I’ve worked hard in the fields and in farms all my life. It’s tough work but it has given me a great body. I thought people would be keen to try it out.”
Seb soon pondered the general direction his life was going in and then remembered he forgot to specify for male or female in the ad:
“I’m healthy, I’m no Brad Pitt but I’m not ugly either. I forgot to specify male or female in the ad and I didn’t even get any gay takers … It doesn’t do much for your self-esteem to be rejected by absolutely everybody in the world.”
Quote of the year right there, folks. You have to hand it to Seb though — he’s not afraid to hug that truth bomb as it explodes. Can someone give this guy a makeover and some Drakkar Noir so he can help his sick brother, please?