As an Asian American woman in a society built on oppressive stereotypes, we get a lot of dumb, offensive, microaggressive comments. If you want to be respectful and not be a total d-bag to the Asian women in your life, read this list of things you should never say. Ever.
1. Where are you from, originally?
In the words of Constance Wu to Ellen DeGeneres, “Richmond, Virginia.”
2. You going for that K-pop look?
Just because I have dyed hair and makeup, doesn’t mean that I’m trying to look like a K-pop star. I know that representation of Asian women is lacking in the media, but trust me, we normally have dyed hair and makeup aside from just what you’ve seen in K-pop videos.
3. Nĭ hăo, Konichiwa, Gong Hay Fat Choy
Unless my name is Kai-Lan and I’m about to go on a 24-minute Nick Jr. adventure, don’t nĭ hăo me. One time at a Safeway checkout, the cashier aggressively waved at me shouting, “Konichiwa!!!!” I stared at him.
“Are you not Japanese?”
“Not even part?”
“Are you sure? You look at least half.”
Oh no, I really wasn’t sure what race I was. Let me go take a DNA test. Thank you stranger for helping me.
4. I love Asian women.
Okay, I’m just going to stuff these breadsticks in my purse and head out. I really didn’t want to know that you’re attracted to me because you have a fetish that oppresses and perpetuates sexual violence against my race.
5. Are you a bad driver?
How dare you damage my character with your backwards stereotypes. Feel free to ride the bus next time. 💁
6. Are you good at math?
I don’t accept anything below an A. Except in math.
7. Are you rich?
This week I’ve eaten beef, chicken, shrimp… in the form of cup noodles. We’re crazy broke Asians over here.
8. Do you have a tighter p*ssy?
Yikes. That’s sexual harassment.
9. Is your p*ssy sideways?
The only thing that’s going to be sideways is your face after I’m done pounding it.
10. Which Korea are you from?
I can see that we aren’t going to be friends. So, which Dakota are you from?
11. You love me long time?
You’ve basically just signed your death warrant. That line from Stanley Kubrick’s 1987 film, “Full Metal Jacket,” should not be resurrected in any way, shape, or form. It’s offensive, distasteful, and disgusting. Just no.