Based God’s Curse Falls Unto Rap Genius

Today is one of the hardest, most painful days of my life. Today, Lil B The Based God — one of my most based, most principled heroes — placed his infamous CURSE on my beloved website, Rap Genius:

Aside from the fact that the “Based God’s Curse” has proved deadly and venomous throughout history, this particular curse hurts more than anything else because Based God is the soul of Rap Genius. He was the first rapper ever to acknowledge Rap Genius and show us love, and — even though he has never gotten a verified account — I once got topless with Based God at NYU and we shared a moment. It was one of the most intimate and based moments I ever shared with a rapper during my entire tenure at Rap Genius. Lil B is not just a hero to me — he represents, in many ways, the conscience of all modern hip-hop. Famed rapper Kendrick Lamar recently tweeted his praises to Based God — ‘twas a numinous tweet, full of love and reverence:

If Kendrick Lamar is the brain of Rap Genius, then Based God is the heart. His track “Wonton Soup” was one of the first contemporary tracks I ever put up on Rap Genius (in the early days I was mainly annotating the classics: Biggie, 2pac, etc.).

Before being accepted into Y Combinator, when we were bootstrapping Rap Genius, I was living in Berkeley, California because my (then) girlfriend Katie Kadue was a grad student there. (She still is, I think.) I was living in the “Gourmet Ghetto” because I wanted to be close to tasty organic foods. But sometimes, for fun, I would venture out to Berkeley Bowl West, which is next to The Waterfront, Lil B’s neighborhood. I would go there because it was easier to steal olives from Berkeley Bowl West than from the original Berkeley Bowl. The employees were more chill. Although this was not directly related to Lil B, I think Berkeley Bowl West’s chillness was emblematic of the Waterfront as a whole — it is not an accident that the Based God came from there.

Walking around the Waterfront, I would routinely yell out, “Fifty-one-Fifty FUCK wit me!” which is the Based God battle cry.

If you want to know about the potency of Based God’s curse, ask Kevin Durant. His entire career was pretty much crushed after Based God placed a retaliatory curse on him. KD was on track to dominate the league, but once the Based Curse was in place, injury and underperformance has become the hallmark of his career.

Based God also has beef with Rap Genius’ cousins, after his team, the Golden State Warriors, faced off with Rap Genius investor Dan Gilbert’s team, The Cleveland Cavaliers, in the NBA Finals this year. Based God semi-cursed Lebron James (who had previously had the infamous “Comic Sans beef” with Dan Gilbert too, when he went to Miami – such an orgy of hatred! Very confusing..)

Now that Based God has cursed Rap Genius, will Rap Genius go down in history as the “Kevin Durant of Startups”? I am afraid that is what looks to be the case.

The real drama with Rap Genius is, not only is the site now bearing Based God’s Curse, but they also must shoulder “Maboo’s Curse.” “Maboo’s Curse” is as follows: when anyone fucks with me, they are destroyed. God loves me, so God rewards my friends with Beneficence and curses my enemies with wrath and hellfire.

Although Maboo’s Curse is not as well-known as Based God’s curse, it is just as potent. Mark Suster is currently the number one dude carrying Maboo’s Curse (as chronicled in NextShark), and I guarantee you, he will never become a true baller as a result.

My co-founders for my new project, Everipedia, are very young. They treat me with love, respect and fear. Everipedia is currently blowin’ up — it is not even a real website yet and is already climbing Alexa’s ranks at breakneck speed! But these boys know: if they fuck with me, it will all come crashing down. Based God will curse them, Maboo will curse them, and they will go down the black hole vortex of destruction, just as Rap Genius is descending now.