Mahbod Moghadam: The Day I Got Banned From Facebook


Editor’s Note: Mahbod Moghadam is the founder of Genius (formerly Rap Genius). The opinions expressed in this piece are solely his.

I may have proverbially / hypothetically told Mark Zuckerberg to suck my dick, but yesterday, he literally made me suck his d*ck. Yesterday — for the first time in my life — I was BANNED FROM FACEBOOK (for 24 hours).

More specifically, I was banned from posting, liking, commenting and messaging non-friends. (I was maybe banned from other stuff too that I didn’t notice.)

It was a particularly painful experience, because — yeah, I mean, it’s just 24 hours — but I imagined if this ever happened to me for life. In a sense, it would be a worse fate than prison, because Facebook is more real than life (for me at least).

What was my transgression, you ask? On a Vibe magazine Facebook post about Lil B and “The Based God’s Curse” on NBA players, a girl named “Destiny” had commented: “I swear he’s gayer than Young Thug!” — to which I replied, “don’t get CURSED destiny’s child! #rare”.

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I’m guessing Destiny set me up — probably had her friends form a voting ring to fuck me. But yeah, Destiny got her way. Facebook had determined that my reply to Destiny’s comment was “harassment” and that I needed a time-out.

A lot of websites have banned me — Quora, Genius, the list goes on. But honestly, if you want to know the truth: I don’t give a FUCK about getting banned from those. Those sites are for nerds anyway.

Facebook is the only site I truly care about. I know the kids pretend these days that it is out of vogue, that they have “moved on to Snapchat,” bla bla bla — but I think that’s all bullshit.

I don’t think Snapchat will ever challenge Facebook, because they don’t have a Zuck. Zuck is the biggest genius alive. He is going to eventually be in charge of all relevant internet software. Everyone pretends they don’t use Facebook … BUT THEY DO.

If I was permanently banned from Facebook, I would move to China and join Chinese Facebook. I can’t live without it!

Also I was thinking: maybe this happened to me because of Based God’s Curse? Did I do something to upset The Based God? In 2012, we got naked together at NYU. He always gave love to me and my website. Also I was trying to have his back!

But you know what? I think it was The Based God’s Curse. Based God was warning me. First of all, there’s nothing wrong with Destiny saying Based God is gay. Based God has an album called “I’m Gay”. She was actually giving him a compliment, saying he is quite tasteful.

I should have simply shown her love. It was bad of me to say something negative, even if I meant it as a joke. Same as it was bad to say, “Zuck please suck my dick!” The Based God agrees with Facebook: we must never use negativity, even as mockery. From now on, I pledge to stay #based.

… because getting banned from is one thing … but getting banned from … is a whole other thing altogether …

About the author: Mahbod Moghadam aka “Maboo” started the website “Genius” — he also wrote a book called “Banned from” — wait what?

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