Denver Broncos Issue ‘Farting Tax’ After Unbearable Team Meetings
Professional athletes are used to getting penalized when they arrive to practice late or when they go ballistic on the field or on their coaches. It’s a way for teammates to break their habits. But what if we said a star linebacker is now being penalized each time he farts?
That’s what’s happening to the Denver Bronco’s defensive star Von Miller. Apparently, he farts too much during team meetings and is now subject to a “fart tax,” which means that every time he farts, his pay is docked.
Denver Post’s Nicki Jhabvala broke wind, err, the news when she tweeted:
“Von Miller said the Broncos have a fine system for, um, flatulence in meetings. Said he thinks he’s been fined the most.”
In another tweet, Jhabvala said:
“Since I’ve received numerous inquires about the Broncos’ Fart Tax, I’m gonna let Von explain. NFL dieting ain’t easy.”
And here’s what Miller had to say about cutting the cheese:
“They can’t fine me if I get up and walk away. It’s not healthy. I keep trying to tell them it’s not healthy if I just sit there and hold it in. Nobody in the world does that. I just do it more than the average person.”
Umm, did Miller never get that social code? You know, the one that says you should refrain from farting because you’re not 5? That you should hold it in until you’re in a place where it might be okay to fart, like the bathroom?
So how serious is the Broncos’ flatulence tax? Most likely, it’s just a complaint amongst the team and coaching staff.