I hate Valentine’s Day because of two things. First, it’s pretty much a Hallmark Holiday and no one really knows the true meaning behind it (Google it if you don’t) and second, it makes some of us feel like crap because we see how happy our friends in relationships are. Well, I’m here to help you realize that being single is really a blessing in disguise and it will help you on your path towards success. Here are ten reasons why it’s good to be single if you’re still young and looking to build your career or startup.
Some of us get into relationships for the sake of not feeling lonely. This is a terrible mind-set because you are really exhibiting a dependency for others in order to move forward with your life. Don’t let a relationship delude you into thinking that you need another person to be happy. In the words of Robert Greene, author of “The 48 Laws of Power” and “The Art of Seduction:”
“…you are born alone in this world and that you are going to die alone in this world. You have family, you have friends, they are important, but in the end there is no one that is really there that is going to 100% back you up or support you… So you have to learn early on in life that you are the last sort of safety net. You have to depend on your own skills, your own attitude. If you’re sitting there waiting for other people to help you, you are a loser! You are going to miss all of the opportunities that are out there. So you develop a mindset that I have to get things for myself. I have to be strong and occasionally if people are going to help me that’s great… But I’m not going to be sitting there waiting for that to happen, and I’m not gonna be upset, depressed, or disappointed if it doesn’t happen. I am going to get things done by myself, and I’m going to learn how to do it at a very early age.”
Let’s face it, relationships cost money. Whether it’s in gifts, paying or dates, going out, etc. Unless your family is rolling in dough and you have all-access to it, don’t add more fuel to the fire of your financial stress.
You are already hauling ass trying to advance your career. Let’s be real here, do you really think that you can dedicate your time to both juggling a relationship while working towards your success? Most importantly, can you give everything you have in two areas without eventually wanting to hang yourself? Ain’t nobody got time for that.
My friend who owns a startup once had a girlfriend who was a huge party animal. She would make him go out a lot and got him to do drugs with her and her friends every weekend. It was her lifestyle that became the center of their relationship and of course he followed, he was in ‘love’ with her. He started to lose focus on his startup and his work began to fall off. It got so bad that he and his co-founders eventually had a huge falling out which put the company at a huge risk for failure. To add to point #3, your significant other will have certain expectations of you in terms of spending time with him/her. Heck, Mark Zuckerberg is a multi-billionaire and his wife Priscilla Chang has a relationship contract that notes the amount of time he needs to allocate to her every week. While it’s obviously not a bad thing that your loved-one wants to hang out with you, it could be a bad influence on you if you’re young and still going down the path to success.
If you’re still under 30, you probably have no idea what love is and you aren’t ready to get married, plain and simple. You simply haven’t developed and experienced enough in your life to know. Your focus at this time should be on yourself and how you’re going to develop into a strong and amazing person that attracts people. Focusing on a relationship will just cloud your mind more than it already is with the other challenges of growing up. Your only focus should be on yourself.
I don’t care what you’ve been taught. Having financial stability is incredibly important. As one of my old mentors said, “Without money, you ain’t shit!” This is the hard truth and don’t let anyone else tell you differently. If you’re spending time on finding or maintaining a relationship, that means you are wasting time that you could be spending on making yourself financially stable.The last thing you want to do is work on a fairytale relationship only for it to end badly because you’ll be left with nothing but a broken heart and nothing to fall back on.
In the words of Mr. Landis in “I Think I Love My Wife:”
“You can lose lots of money chasing women, but you will NEVER lose women chasing money.”
And take one from Lady Gaga:
“Some women choose to follow men, and some women choose to follow their dreams. If you’re wondering which way to go, remember that your career will never wake up and tell you that it doesn’t love you anymore.”
Lets face it, couples fight, it’s a normal thing. Something is actually wrong if you don’t fight once in a while, but having an argument still takes time and adds emotional stress to your life. This is something you absolutely don’t need if you are trying to concentrate on your work.
You have A LOT of time to settle down. Spend your 20’s enjoying the dating scene without the pressures and commitments that a relationship straps you with. Work hard, stay healthy, and remember this- the more successful you become, the more people you attract, and the more options you get.
Having a relationship requires you to open up your life, fears, and secrets to another person. While, having someone there can make you happy, it could make you feel too comfortable and put you in the mindset of not staying aggressive or not focusing on building your startup or career. As someone once told me, “A man’s weakest moments are when he’s happiest.” The worst part is the breakup. They suck and they hurt- badly. Ask yourself this: Can you seriously afford to let go and risk going through emotional pain at this stage in your life when you should be solely focused on building your empire?
After you’ve reached a good point of success in your life, you will have taken in so much experience on building and managing something that you’ll find that you can apply these same concepts to your love life. While your friends that got married in their 20’s are now all divorced and depressed that they wasted the last couple years of their life instead of building themselves, you’ll have people drawn to you because of your success. You’ll know how to properly manage your relationships and you’ll be strong enough to fall back on yourself if things don’t work out.