We’ve all had complicated relationships. There are ups and downs and hopefully the pros outweigh the cons. But our generation is experiencing a new phenomenon in the dating world that our moms didn’t have to face, and that’s the surge in entrepreneurship. Relationships and dating in your 20s were hard enough to begin with, but now we have to face wave after wave of men who are startup entrepreneurs, app creators, and engineers of devices no one will ever use, but we will laugh at their commercials when they air at 2 a.m.
While we should encourage everyone to pursue their goals, the sheer number of people who have committed to creating something brand new, or succeeding through the power of the Internet and social media alone, is overwhelming. The individuals and characters that are amplified by the egotistical, über-social world of business- fighting for startup funding or selling your ideas for $10 million- makes dating that much harder.
1. You will never be on the same schedule.
Unless you are also a super geek, egotistical ass, or entrepreneur extraordinaire, you will never be on the same schedule as the entrepreneur you’re dating. They sleep in 3-hour increments during awkward parts of the day when you will probably be getting ready for work or eating dinner. Their most productive time is in the middle of the night, usually after 1 a.m. when they have their ‘big breaks,’ which you will either not be there for or will be woken up for.
2. They may be drug addicts.
Even the FBI has had to acknowledge that a majority of the smartest people on the planet smoke weed. Whether it’s to relax, encourage the social recluse to be more talkative, or even motivate creativity, weed has become a crutch many entrepreneurs lean on. That as well as other psychostimulants have become more and more prevalent for self-employed 20-somethings, so you never know what version of your significant other you may get.
3. They’re probably weird.
We have all met our fair share of successful people; those who have worked for themselves, started from the ground up, and become successful. Some have revolutionized industries or created a product you can only wish you’d thought of, but more often than not these people are strange. Some have social problems and struggle to interact in social situations; others are your run of the mill geniuses that obsess over one problem until it’s solved, even if this happens to take months on end. We’re all weird in our own way but don’t be surprised if they’re more difficult than the average.
4. They love a good pyramid scheme.
As smart as your significant other may be, are they always trying to convince you that butter that comes from grass-fed cows makes your brain work better? “It’s like all natural Adderall that’s good for you!” Right… if you believe that I have a bridge to sell you, as our dads always used to say. And, to be fair, George C. Parker was a brilliant entrepreneur in his own right, if not an unsavory character. But the things people will believe to improve both physical and mental performance are unbelievable. You may find that tuning them out when they talk about gluten or coconut oil is the best way forward.
5. They see brilliance in people you hate.
Okay fine, Kanye is the king of media marketing. Yes he’s sold who knows how many hits. But can anyone actually say they like him? He’s an egotistical, overdone record mogul who has just married the most pointless celebrity known to man. But that is not what your significant other will see. To them he is the Da Vinci of hip-hop music; a genius we can’t truly understand. He has a right to act and behave as he pleases. This model can be applied to other pointless people, like Sarah Palin.
6. They take longer to get ready than you.
It’s not about being trendy; it’s about being stylish. Or so we’re told. There’s something about designer brands, perhaps the illusion of power, that draws your entrepreneur to this style. From the rivets on their Ferragamo loafers to their immaculate quiff, don’t be surprised if it takes them more than twice as long as you to get ready.
7. Time Management Fail.
There is eternally one more thing to do, one more thing to fix, they just thought of one more thing. Their five minutes turns into an hour and a half. You may miss the first 30 laps of the Monaco Grand Prix. Patience will become your greatest virtue.
8. They struggle with average tasks.
It’s unheard of to not be able to drive in America. Boiling water is truly not that difficult. There are two nobs on a washing machine. iPhones and touchscreens are not revolutionary technology anymore. How can a person be absolutely brilliant yet completely unable to interact with your average piece of household equipment?
9. They don’t stop talking about ‘House of Cards.’
If you haven’t seen it I will sum it up for you now, it’s about a husband and wife who play the political and corporate game like Bobby Fischer played chess, they see and understand things at an entirely different level. We all wish we could be Claire or Frank as they’re smart, brilliant, classy, graceful, the list goes on. But your significant other will find a way to relate every aspect of your relationship to a WWTUD (What Would The Underwood’s Do?) scenario.
10. They have really strange goals.
Has anyone ever asked you about your ultimate life goal? Or what you would need to accomplish before you could die happy? There are entrepreneurs out there who are genuinely working hard to make their millions to become Tony Stark. Or have an all glass apartment that floats at 30,000 feet.